During the PS4 Destiny beta, I found myself falling into hours-long hysterical fits while creating dramatic, epic haircuts and unlovable face in the game's character creator.
I encourage you to study my full Vanilla Destiny review here and speculation on rumors surrounding the Rise of Iron expansion here.
You can also discover Ghost Little's Destiny-inspired Suns Go Dark, part of our free books collection.
You can enjoy the character creator's greatest hits below:
Awoken female: Jenny studied in Arizona for two months one summer, and suddenly she wanted people to call her Rain-melon from now on? C'mon, Jenny.
Exo male: After the worst day on set, Oozer-70 put the whole city of Los Angeles in his rear-view.
Awoken female: I didn't know your dad's second wife was in Destiny?
Awoken female: A hairstyle I call, The Dead Babysitter.
Awoken male: The facepaint says "Burning Man TONIGHT" the haircut says "I'll check my email from the chartered bus' toilet."
Human female: I didn't know your dad's third wife was in Destiny?
Awoken male: The Conan O'Brien.
Human female: The Claire Underwood.
Awoken female: The Ziggy Stardust.
Human male: Trevor realized too late he should have fixed his haircut before getting his new passport photo. Everyone at CVS laughed at him.
Human male: Daniel reconsidered his problematic Halloween costume at the last second. Pics don't lie tho.
Awoken male: Hungry Like the Wolf (Duran Duran)
Human male: Your dad makes the money, so he's allowed to smoke two packs of cigarettes a day, Matthew.
Human female: The bold hair coloring choice still didn't distract people from Reese's chin.
Awoken male: Ziggy Stardust X Conan O'Brien.
Human female: Your mom.
Human male: Everyone refused to call Bradley "The Crimson Rook" like he asked, even with the hair and the eye makeup.
-- Alex Crumb (originally published 9/8/14)
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