The commute is a sacred American institution. Everyone's gotta work, except those who don't. Everyone's gotta leave the comfort of their homes, except those who don't. This is the undying commonality that assures all knucklhead urbanites and dust-chewing sons of the soil will have something to hate.

The telephone did not kill the commute. Email did not kill the commute. The year-3000 Jetsons-style video chat did not kill the commute. The commute will never die because it's the members-only club signifying solidarity and envy.

Millennials ruined work ethic.

Millennials ruined looking the other way.

Millennials ruined monogamy, dating, and forced intimacy as an overarching life-goal.

Millennials ruined bog-standard television when they recognized how silly they were for believing Full House was anything more than a tasteless early-90s stab at late-50s wholesomeness.